Clear

This weekend was a bit of an escape. In that I spent most of the weekend either watching football or catching up on TV shows and movies I hadn’t watched. In itself that’s not really strange, I mean as modern human beings we do this sort of thing all the time. Both constructively and destructively. But as the day wounds down I found myself setting back into my reality of unfinished projects and decision making.

To be honest, I used to not allow myself much time to enjoy such luxuries as taking time for myself. As my children were growing up, my days were spent working, managing our home, and looking after my special needs wife and child. Today someone going through a similar situation was asking me advice. I gladly laid out all the facts I could, but in doing so I probably left out a lot of the guilt, shame, and burdens you feel during those times.
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I suppose when asked again, I should bring up those subjects in a real and not canned and homogenized way. That things are often ugly, that you will loose your temperature, and that you will feel shame. Listen taking care of one’s self is not a shameful or selfish thing; in fact it is a necessity. A necessity that I still need everyday. I don’t use mindfulness and meditation as tools to just gain. These truths have become an integral part of my life. They sustain me and keep my heart, mind, and soul clear. They grant me peace in an otherwise gone to hell world.