We create images from others that we deify into the desires that we carry. But more often than not, those souls are no more a deity than you or I. They are often flawed by their own fantasy’s and desires. Very few of us care to delve deep inside ourselves. We choose instead to swim in the shallow end. I always saw myself as a broken and miserable soul, with no good ending coming to my story. But I continued to search for an answer, a shining light. That I could never found in the dogma in which I was raised.
What is life, but an unending chain of moments. Moments which we often pick and choose to remember. The memories that endure usually end up being cruel and savage. My Grandma loved the song “Rose Colored Glasses”. A song that described a bleak world brightened by the tint of a rose-colored lens. I never quite understand the meaning. But when the world stopped being so bright and beautiful. It took a little bit of tint to change the scenery. For me that tint come in the form of becoming self-awareness. Often, we look to others to be our heroes and our savors. But in reality, it is you and I that must ultimately save ourselves. I’ve read a lot of self-help books, attended a bunch motivational seminars. But after a moment of euphoria, I’d just walk away feeling empty again. It wasn’t until I opened myself up to listening to my pain, that it began to heal. I stopped burying my pain in a fog of flowers, trying to ignore the stench that lay underneath. Self-awareness exposes the wounds, clears the heart, and gives you permission to let go. By listening compassionately to that wounded child, we tear down the walls we’ve build around our hearts. It is the power of love and forgiveness, that creates the positive images we need to live.
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May 2023
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