Waking up as I normally do, I go through the living room, and into the kitchen, to get to the bathroom. Walking past the open windows I could hear the sound of crickets chirping outside. And for a moment the sound takes me back to a simpler time. When sitting around a bonfire, drinking beer, and watching fireflies dance, was the highlight of my weekend.
I hadn’t had many weekends like that in a good long time. Between struggling to make a paycheck, raising a family, and taking care of my wife; life hasn’t seemed as enjoyable as it used to be. Not that there haven’t been good moments. But when you’re plagued with clinical depression and whatever else. You tend to focus more on the struggles and regrets. Right now, it’s still early in the morning. I had trouble falling back to sleep. My belly has been reminding me all morning of all the apparent bad choices I made the day before. Which ironically was a variety of fresh vegetables, tea, and very little meat. But it is what it is, and tomorrow I go back to my Gastroenterologist to hopefully get some answers. Things never stay the same, no matter how hard we try to make it that so. Friends come; friends go. Kids grow up and move away. Loved ones pass and touches of grey begin to appear. But despite all the discomforts that come with time, the moment is still here. Fair or unfair, blessed or cursed; time takes its toll. All we can do is learn to survive, forgive, and enjoy the moments we are given.
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May 2023
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