Days & Weeks
Laying here I couldn’t help but think about a situation with a friend’s spouse. Over the last several years he and I have traveled similar paths. We’ve both went through physical problems as well as mental health problems. The difference lies in the fact that he has just given up on life. He is bitter, he leashes out at his spouse, and doesn’t seem try or want to improve his situation. He just sits there watching the world as it passes by. Listen I’m not here on my high horse and criticizing him or anyone else in this situation. The fact is I empathize and understand it all too well.
For a while now I’ve documented my struggles with self-worth and even jealousy. And how oftentimes those things still get the best of me. For days and weeks, I’d lie in bed, with the curtains drawn, enabling my demons and fears. But even in those moments I knew, there was something better, something more for me to do than just lie there. It’s taken me a really long time to get to this point of awareness. And while I am by no means a success story, at least by the world’s standards. I am now at peace with who I am.
Still I can see it in the eyes of so many other people. The vacancy, the loss, and the bitterness they carry. While many have not totally given up on life, they seem to have given up on living. These days are rough and they beat the best of us down. Still as I look in the mirror, I take assessment of myself, and move on with the gifts I’ve been given. Don’t let circumstance dictate your value. Do the best you can, breathe in the life around you, and live a life well lived. Please don’t let anymore moments pass you by.
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FD Thornton, Jr
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