Eased

Sandra Saxon Burnsed

Panic and anxiety attacks are nothing new to me. I mean I’ve spent the last 20+ years fighting them, tolerating them, and accepting them. My recent attacks shouldn’t come as any surprise. With our limited income and ever increasing bills, it’s a wonder the world’s going crazy. But as usual I keep such things to myself. I do my talk downs and breathing exercises, telling myself this too shall pass. I guess now I’m at a point in my life where I’m just tired of all the stress and anxiety.

On the outside I’m relatively a low key person. I’m fairly decent at talking people down off the ledge as it were. But as for myself, I’m the worse at taking advice. I guess I spent too many decades being told to “suck it up”, so I do. I don’t subscribe to a lot of flashy in the moment affirmations or self-help talks. I take things as they are. If I’m depressed, then I’m depressed. If I’m anxious, well then I’m anxious. I subscribe to a more Buddhist tradition of listening to the fear and anxiety. Accepting what I feel then loving those parts of me that hurt.
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I know to some of you that may sound crazy. I mean I was indoctrinated into a world where we are all inherently evil and the only path to peace is through acceptance. But in a way isn’t that what I all ready said? The world is made up of so many colors and shapes. Still all of us carry a common thread of compassion and need for acceptance. As I work through my own pain, shouldn’t we all be a little more compassionate of the needs and desires of others? Maybe through that way of thinking all our own suffering can be eased?