End of the Tunnel

I had promised myself no more medical “gloom and doom” for a while. That I was going to write some positive and uplifting messages for a change. But my medical issues of the last month and past few days have made it harder not to give myself a voice of relief. If you’re a follower you maybe well aware of my recent gallbladder surgery and subsequent problems. In short, my liver is having and very hard time adjusting to the loss of an old if not damaged friend. 

So for the past two days, my PCP has had me take a series of test to determine a cause and possible solution to the situation. The accumulating abdominal fluid has gotten hard to ignore, in fact I’ve put on 30 lbs. since my surgery. After a series of test, it has been determined I have cirrhosis of the liver. Probably caused by my less then healthy past lifestyle. Later this week I will have another outpatient procedure to drain the excess fluid. This is only a patch to a much better problem, but I’m sure a more permanent course of treatment will be determined.

I suppose I should be sad or at the least upset with myself. But what’s done is done, and all anyone can do is continue to survive. Through my mental health breakdown, to my continuing heart issues; I’ve determined in my mind to live. After three years of fighting these digestive issues and going through massive weight loss. It’s almost comforting to hopefully see some a light at the end of this long tunnel. 
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Oh, I have my moments of fear, anxiety, and anger; but I quickly get them out. And maybe that’s the whole point of sharing this. That no matter how bleak the outcome, some light, some moment of peace can be found. I was bitter and mad for so long, taking out my frustrations not only on others, but mostly on myself. The end result being the man you’re reading about today. But even bad situations have a funny way of becoming moments of enlightenment. But that only happens if you allow yourself to see past the pain.