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Fewer & Fewer

1/13/2020

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​There are fewer and fewer moments like this where I still feel just a little bit normal. Used to I would bounce up every morning and start my day. Then came the sleepless nights. Then there was my failing heart health and its complications. Now in recent months the rapid weight loss, the fatigue, and being chained to a porcelain throne. So laying here, several hours past my usual get up time is a little weird. Plus the fact I that haven’t had to run to you-know-where, is an even bigger relief.
 
So I lay here motionless enjoying the moment. Not touching my coffee or getting up out of bed. Savoring each second of normalcy I’ve been granted. I watch my neighbors get in their cars every morning racing off to work. Those few that know me, envy my lifestyle of careless wonder. Yet these four walls often turn into a prison. Where your free to think, but never leave. Caged like a wild animal. 

I suppose with most everything, there lies a choice. But with some things there isn’t. You’re simply left with no options; life is what it is. Right now, I guess I should give some speech about overcoming any obstacle. But instead I’ll leave you alone with a thought. Most of the outcomes in my life are due to my own choices. So I’ve resigned myself to live with them. But that doesn’t mean I should close up shop and suffer alone. It simple means I except how things are and move on from there. So don’t stop living due to inconveniences. Be who you are, live your life as fully as you can. 
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