Hell of a Long Ride

I was having a lively little conversation with an associate down at the local dollar store. She’s about the same age as my youngest and like myself she has four kids. While my youngin raising days are pretty much done, for this young single mom, they are just beginning. I just turned sixty last year and have two grandchildren with one more on the way. I’ve been married for thirty five years. And if you count the other one I’ve been married nearly forty years.

My mind doesn’t feel like I’ve been around that long. But when I reflect on the milestones in my life, it’s been a hell of a long ride. There are moments when I think, “what the hell have I done with my life?” There are moments when I saw no purpose, no goals, or accomplishments. But when I filter through the forgotten memories I begin to see where none of that is true. I understand that while I never became the architect I dreamed of being as a kid. I did become a father, a husband, and a provider. Things I never thought I’d be.

And while many may see me as a failure at even these things. The fruit is there for all to see tucked away in my children’s lives. I don’t know, maybe I’m just feeling extra good about myself today. But listening to that young lady, brought up a lot of memories. Memories that are both good and bad, justified and delivered out of spite. My point is, it shouldn’t hurt to take assessment of your life every once in a while. To plan or change course when needed. But to bury your heart in guilt will never fix anything. So seek forgiveness from others as well as yourself. Hopefully then the path of your life won’t seem so long.