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I Could Use a Break

7/11/2022

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Forgive me but my brains feeling a bit scrambled this morning. But to be perfectly honest, it’s been like this for a few weeks now. Ever since I left my gastroenterologist office a few weeks ago, where I was prescribed medication that slows digestive issues. Apparently this bad boy has greatly normalized my digestive system, but not without a few issues. I suppose when you resort to chemical cures, you can expect a little blow back. So I’m kinda going through another weight loss issue again. It seems like my appetite has disappeared and I’m only eating when I absolutely have too.

For many that maybe a great problem to have, but it has been effecting my cognitive and physical abilities. So as I said, I’m losing focus distracting my mind with mindless bullshit from social media. Avoidance is often our greatest imperil. To just “laugh it off” or “put it off till tomorrow “, is usually my go to modus operandi. But it’s hard not to look at things that way. Especially when juggling so many different medical procedures and appointments.
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So I’m writing this down, as more of a therapy for myself then anyone else. Often my mind plays with me. Telling me to put duty before self. With outside responsibilities such as my wife and sons. You end up going through a sort of hero complex where you have been conditioned to believe you are the only one who can solve the problem. And while there is some nobleness to being the caregiver, it often comes at a price. So be aware of you limits. Know when it’s time to slow down and take it easy. Right now I got some major procedures coming up. So a balance must be maintained between my own health and the wellbeing of my family. I mean, what good are you to anyone else if you refuse to take care of yourself? 
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