It Starts with Forgiveness

I’m laying here my head slightly on fire, feeling a little high from dinner (Glucose). My vertigo is playing me the fool this evening, especially when I head to the bathroom (don’t ask). Other than that I got my Sheryl Crow playlist going, grinding my teeth to the beat. The evening is a bit unsettled with rain heading this way. But I don’t worry about that since I’ll probably be asleep shortly. 

In a way I feel a bit unsettled, like I’m ready for a little shaking up myself. With so many of us worrying about being our best selves no wonder we're so worked up. I’m kinda past that, opting instead for being creative, free, and satisfied. I’m not really mad at anyone, not even myself. Still I see all this tension even when we’re trying to relax. I mean hell, meditation can be a bitch sometimes. 

A lot of my “country” friends got it right when they leave their rod and tackle box in the back of the truck. We all seem to be looking for some new way to lose ourselves. When all we need to do is unplug and leave the world behind. My oldest went into a panic one time, because I don’t answer the phone. Then got mad because I told her I don’t take my phone to the bathroom.
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Seriously though, the best way I discovered to find myself is to listen to…myself. To those that seek nothing more than to escape themselves, it may sound counter-productive. But honestly what better way to search out what’s bothering you? I spent so much time hating myself, believing the lies and insults I was told. But it all starts with forgiveness, first to yourself, then to those around you.