It's Alright

Well I’m out in the yard again. My time out here will be based on the wind direction, the amount of gnats I have to swat, and the humidity. Right now everything’s looking fine, but the wind has died down and I hear a gnat buzzing around my ear. It’s been a crappy week for me mentally. Old fears have been popping up in my head, and Lisa and I have a total of two doctor appointments and an MRI next week.

But honestly that’s really not what’s got me stressed out. I guess it’s more a combination of things like finances, family worries, and downright fatigue. My insurance won’t cover any additional iron infusions right now and my already compromised digestive system cannot handle iron supplements. So I’m trying to just take it easy. But as you all well know, the world won’t allow any of us to do that.
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So I’m left here worrying. I’m sure it would be easy for me to just “chat some affirmations” to myself to get out of this funk. But I was hard wired a long time ago to just “bite the bullet” and carry on. So I just sit here and listen to my moodiness; compassionately listening to every scenario, every worry, every fear. After a while I’ll climb out from beneath this blanket of depression and carry on. Kinda like today. With the sun dodging in and out from behind the clouds. With the distant cry of a mockingbird and just enough breeze to say it’s alright.