Just Feeling Miserable

Well we are coming up on my favorite time of the year…allergy season. So on top of the other BS I put up with; now I have to contend with sneezing, headaches, dizziness, and well you get the picture. So I’m laying here, the fan on high, it’s 60°f outside, and it’s 3:30 in the morning. It wouldn’t be so bad if I had something to do, like work or school. But I don’t have any of that going on. So while Lisa’s asleep next to me without a care in the world. I’m left here my belly tight, nose stopped up, just feeling miserable.

You would think after all this years I’d learn people want to read something joyous or something positive. But leave it up to me to be hard headed and simply speak my truth. I guess because I’ve learned that masking my emotions, masking my truth. Only made me more miserable and more in pain.  That by simply facing the truth and coming up with a tangible answer instead of some fairy in the sky bullshit. Was really what my broken soul needed. While none of this is really solving my achiness or insomnia, at least it’s all out there clearly defined.
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So I’m down to the final paragraph where all the wisdom comes together in a nice tidy bow. Well, I hate to hurt your feelings. I still feel miserable and I am still wide awake. So what do I do? Read some more social media posts? Listen to another podcast? I don’t know. Sometimes there’s just not any answers. So we go on putting one foot in front of the other and you survive. I have a loved one that goes through way more shit then I do. But every day they put their big girl panties on and live their lives. Nothing’s ever gonna be perfect and the one life you can be sure about, is the one you’re living right now. Acceptance and hope, are the two things I clang to when all else seems gone.