I usually don’t come outside in the late afternoon. But given that our autistic son is pitching a fit about his favorite football team losing. I thought for my own peace and sanity, I ‘d come back outside. Living with family members with disabilities can be quite the chore. It’s especially an undeserved burden to put upon the “normal” kids in the house. But we as a family survived fairly well without too many casualties. I by no means will say I’m a model of great leadership. My kids will gladly tell you how well I f’d up their lives. My only defense is that I did as best I could given the arsenal I was given.
The taste of sweet tea with lemon has become one of my guilty pleasures. The sweet and the tart, mixed with the deluded tea, offers a bit of balance. Since my introduction to silence, I’ve discovered that in order to find my center. I must accept everything I see around me. Which basically means not only accepting the good within me, but also the bad. The older I get the easier seems to be for me to embrace all of the junk inside me. But it doesn’t stop with just acceptance, I must also learn about healing the broken parts. This is where I am now at the hardest part of my journey.
I’ve accepted that I will never change the world. Hell, I’ve pretty much accepted the fact that not everyone in my orbit will even like me. There ain’t much I can do about that, other than apologize and move on. Because I don’t need the guilt anymore then they need to carry the pain. So I sit in my little backyard while my neighbor’s dogs whine about being fed. And the and sufferable cries of that one angry bird that keeps flying around. Solitude and breath, those are my focus. Those are my peacemakers in world of turmoil and pain.
The taste of sweet tea with lemon has become one of my guilty pleasures. The sweet and the tart, mixed with the deluded tea, offers a bit of balance. Since my introduction to silence, I’ve discovered that in order to find my center. I must accept everything I see around me. Which basically means not only accepting the good within me, but also the bad. The older I get the easier seems to be for me to embrace all of the junk inside me. But it doesn’t stop with just acceptance, I must also learn about healing the broken parts. This is where I am now at the hardest part of my journey.
I’ve accepted that I will never change the world. Hell, I’ve pretty much accepted the fact that not everyone in my orbit will even like me. There ain’t much I can do about that, other than apologize and move on. Because I don’t need the guilt anymore then they need to carry the pain. So I sit in my little backyard while my neighbor’s dogs whine about being fed. And the and sufferable cries of that one angry bird that keeps flying around. Solitude and breath, those are my focus. Those are my peacemakers in world of turmoil and pain.
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