Late into the Night

Image By: Sandra Burnsed

​Laying here not doing much of nothing, just going through my social media. Through my scrolling and responding, I noticed a post from a friend. In it a couple were dancing carelessly through a diner window late into the night. In the messages we exchanged we wondered about missing moments like that; and to be brutally honest, I really do. I’m sure we all long for the undisciplined days of youth, where time seems to go on forever. When spontaneity was just an everyday thing.

The new word now is “adulting”. I suppose it has to do with the every day mundane work of being an adult. As for myself, I had about 10 years of carefree youth. Then I married the first time. But after a series of adulterous affairs, drug addiction, separation, and a bitter divorce. You’d think I’d had a belly full of marriage. Well a little over a year later while still sweeping up the pieces of my first marriage, Lisa and I began our scandalous affair. For us the honeymoon quickly ended before it began. We married officially when Lisa was eight months pregnant. So basically we hit the ground running leaving all spontaneity and freedom behind.
​
After 34 years of official marriage, I can honestly it has taken it’s toll. Not to say there were never any good memories, like watching our monkeys grow. Still in these later years you go into your own thing. Lisa has her hobbies and activities she does by herself, and I can pretty much do the same. I suppose that’s just natural for empty nesters, but with that little bit of freedom glaring cracks are exposed. You notice things you ignored when you’re too busy raising a family. Which to a point has me wondering, what is the balance between security and freedom? And, what is more important stoic determination or dancing late into the night?