Let there be Light!

One of the hardest things I had to learn after becoming ill is, learning to accept help. Rather it was a ride to the doctor and/or hospital. A daughter picking up our groceries during the Covid lockdown. Or asking for a helping hand when I fall to the ground (it happens more than you think). I suppose pride more than anything kept me from asking for help before then. That in the culture which I was raised, needing a helping hand was considered a sign of weakness.

But all that changed for me a little more than seven years ago when my left lower ventricle practically died. The fatigue and weakness I have since experienced. The bouts with vertigo and the humbling feeling of using a cane and carrying a diaper bag. Definitely knocked the wind out of this proud man’s sails. But through awareness and the willingness to listen to my body, I have learned to accept what I can and cannot do.
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But this doesn’t  have to be seen as a defeat. Most of the time slowing down offers a clearer path to enlightenment and peace. My “downtime” has allowed me to make wiser choices. Seek a greater understanding of myself and the world around me. Still there are those moments when something as simple as replacing a wiring harness, can give a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. So don’t let setbacks make you bitter or angry at the world. Use these opportunities to get better and grow. And maybe some day you’ll turn the lights back on.