Make a Deposit

As you can see I’m finally outside again, after a week of endless rain showers. I had to go to my hematologist and give them about a pint of love. This makes the third time in the last week I’ve had blood drawn. I’m starting to run out of places to make a deposit. Sitting here the waiting room is full of patients. It is here I noticed I that I was quite possibly the youngest person in the room by at least a good ten years. Now this has nothing to do with ageism or anything critical about growing old. It was just an interesting observation about others and myself and this movement in time.

Sitting here now under a canopy of fading leaves, listening to the quiet of nature and the distant sounds of man. I can’t help but wonder where my life is heading. I mean I’ll be 60 years old on my upcoming birthday. And while many of my peers have achieved a certain amount of success materially, I seem to have stepped backwards. Acquiring less and less material wealth as I get older. It’s this kinda shit that used to stress me out. But as I step farther and farther away from the world and it’s over dramatic concerns. I find myself more in focus with myself and more at peace.
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But over the last few months of this self-imposed isolation, I’ve found myself worrying about more things than I had any control over. When my focus should have been drawn inward. Working to overcome the inner demons that are haunting my life. So often we forget about the world that we can control. And that by making peace with our own shortcomings we in turn make peace with rest of the world. It’s funny how just a few moments of inner reflection can open you up less confusion, less fear, and less anxiety. By investing (making a deposit) in one’s own well-being, you are taking the first steps in creating a better world of yourself and everyone else.