You know, I’m a damn good actor. After 20+ years of hiding my depression and anxiety from the world. And another seven years of masking my heart failure and other ailments with a smile. Somewhere along the way I deserved an award in this game of life. But oftentimes the smiles and the laissez-faire attitude hide pure exhaustion. And right now the longer I lay here, the more exhausted I’m getting.
Today I had to make the 250+ mile round trip to see my cardio surgeon for what I suppose was a “meet and greet”. Because when I got there they didn’t seem to have a clue as to who I was or why I was there. Mind you I was pretty much expecting this anyway. My tract record with this particular medical practice has been spotty at best. But I believe the doctor is pretty good at what he does. I mean, my regular cardiologist recommended them. So with an ounce of patience hopefully we got our little impasse straightened out.
Considering my training as a Project Manager, I’m used to having to straighten out kinks in the old garden hose. And since this is something personal dealing with my health, I am the biggest stakeholder in this project. But often we let things slip through the cracks. We loose focus and attention through the little annoyances we experience and see. But I try and look past that, trying to take in the whole picture. But oftentimes in my desire to micromanage, I refuse to allow myself the rest I require. I suppose more than anything I want to tell you, vulnerability isn’t a failure, no more than the willingness to let go weakness. Surrounding yourself with a strong team, rather at work or with family. This is a sign of good leadership skills on your part, that will be carried on long after your gone.
All post written by
FD Thornton, Jr
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