Nearly Losing Me

Me and Lisa hadn’t long got back from our daughter’s. Just checking on the grandkids and to provide our daughter and our son-in-law with a little adult conversation. But like most kids of their generation the phone seems to bring them the most comfort. But I can’t point any fingers of condemnation, because I do the same thing for hours and hours. Right now as I contemplate these words, I drink in the warmth of a southeastern breeze. I notice more and more clouds gathering for a rain expected to come.

Yet as I find myself becoming more open to the things that surround me. I also find myself drafting into emotions I only dream of experiencing. But I carry no guilt for those thoughts. For no secret has been kept, no unfaithful discretion. For these simply are the truths known by a few that may or may not understand. For what feeds a soul but what it wants? What kills the taste of desire but satisfaction itself? I can’t live a life in denial. Only one of acceptance to my change.
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So don’t cry for me or waste my time with blasphemous condemnations. For life is what it is. I am not perfect. I feel the shame for unkind words I’ve spoken. I try to correct myself, but often my attempts simply fail. Still as I feel those first anticipated drops of rain, I know nothing. Nothing but the mistaken rants of juvenile fear. That changed the course of history nearly losing me forever.