At the moment several hours later, the heating pad is my best friend. I wouldn’t say I’m disappointed with myself, it’s just that I’ve learned to accept things as the come. I quit getting mad at myself for having bad days a long time ago. Because bad days are just a part of life. Although I sometimes still get mad at myself for wasting time. But as long as I’m aware of those moments, can I really call them wasted?
So I lay here in bed, taken my afternoon pills; my daily obligations mostly complete. Acceptance may sound like an excuse to some. But in the grand scheme of things, it’s all we ever got. I watch time far more closely than I use to. I see the world in far more detail. It’s unfortunate that it took me so long to become this aware. Because my poor health has certainly taken its toll. But I don’t mean for this to be a sad story. Just a cautionary tale, of how life will past you by, rather you notice it or not.