I guess I’m just a total jackass for saying this; but being a caregiver is all about them, and not a damn thing about you. Now is that selfish statement? You bet it is. Are those same words left unspoken by many? I’m pretty sure they are. I’m writing this with no real intent on saying them out loud. Too many people I know would only condemn me for just thinking them. I mean after all for them life is a blessing and to think someone in need is a burden is unforgettable.
Well buddy, that’s often how it feels. A family member one time pointed out time that my writing was too negative. After reading the comment I had to laugh. First for them missing the point of the story. Second, for them believing the world is all sunshine and rainbows. But hell, maybe we both just misunderstood each other. Writing for me is a therapy, it’s not just a vanity project or a source of recognition. The reason I spend my time writing is to let others know that I understand.
Like I said, I’m just blowing off steam. Still I believe in looking at a situation head on. And while I may not see an answer, at least I admit there’s a problem. To ignore the things that bother you only buries the roots of pain deeper. Often causing you to have hard feelings towards those you love the most. The people I take care of can’t help their situations. And while some may be inclined to point out my imperfections. Giving those emotions a voice is the first step towards healing. So forgive me for speaking. But silence, other then helping you seek peace. Can also fuel the pain and abuse you give.