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Outside Myself

5/13/2021

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It is said, life doesn’t put any more on us than we can stand. Frankly I’m not so sure about that. I mean, I’ve had moments in my life where I did lose all hope. Where fear had completely overtaken my thought process, where reasonable thought gave way to panic and hopelessness. Life not placing upon you more than you can stand. Does that account for the millions buried in mass graves around the world? Or to those that die daily from disease and/or poverty?

I feel that for the most part I have a clear desire to survive. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be typing this right now. But the weight of life can place unforeseen burdens on us. Burdens that are often repeated over and over again. Or burdens that slam us so hard, that we are simply overwhelmed. I can’t offer you any solid solution to these situations. I dare not try and offer you any canned solutions, because each person is different. But the first true epiphany I had was realizing that anything outside myself wasn’t going to save me.
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Begging for some unseen force to protect you, certainly didn’t rescue me. But the expertise and compassion of others did. Therapist, counselors, and doctors all played a role in educating me in the art of survival. As the years progressed, damage was also being done physically. Here my second epiphany occurred. That of learning to let go and let others carry the burden. Rather it was physically (doctors, nurses, family) or spiritually (burdens, stress, fear), I had to learn to let go. There are moments when life places more upon us. The lesson is learning to face up to your fears and that it’s okay to let someone else carry them for you. 
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