Overwhelmed

Some days shower like the sun, while others just shower. I believe I’m sliding into one of my blue periods again, this time because of my health. You see a seed was planted that I may have a new health problem. While it maybe nothing, for those of us that suffer from health anxiety, nothing often becomes something. Those of us diagnosed with anxiety might appear to have it together on the outside, but inwardly, the fear can be overwhelming. 
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Mediation and medication help, but sometimes the best thing I can do is just hide under a blanket till it passes. I am sure there are many sincere people out there that would tell me to just stay positive or rub a rock against my forehead. Believe me after twenty years, I’ve tried a lot of that stuff and more. 

The best thing I can tell you is, don’t get mad at myself for having a mental illness. I know that my anxiety issues are annoying and can be really out there. But to beat myself over the head thinking I am somehow at fault is ludicrous. For decades I beat and bullied myself, probably more than the actual bullies in my life. It required and still requires a lot of self-healing and self-love to overcome.
  
Listen I’m not going to sit here and blow smoke up your (you know where) and tell you I have the answer. All I can tell you is; I understand. Emotions often flow like a tide. But sometimes they come in unexpectedly and catch you be surprise. So continue to live your life, understand troubles will come. Learn to breathe through the bad times but most importantly, learn to treat yourself with a little compassion.