Part of Us
It’s a big change from yesterday, it’s much cloudier and the winds blowing a bit stronger. Which makes it a perfect day for sitting outside. The laundry is hanging on the line, and I’m just sitting here under the sycamore trees. Enjoying the outside for long as I can stand it. Last night was a little rough my blood sugar bottomed out twice. But I still managed to get about six hours sleep. So as my meds start kicking in, I reckon I’ll make it yet another day.
Life throws all kinds of shit at us, but we persevere. Often “the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few”. But more often than not, the needs of the one (yourselves) are most important. Being selfish is nothing to be ashamed of, I mean it’s built into brains. At its very core our brains have a built-in survival instinct. The most primal root of who we are. To feel selfishness, fear, or panic is to feel the very impulses of this part of us.
Considering I live GAD and PD, I sort of live in a vacuum, where I can choose what and who I wish see. The isolation at first was stifling, but now I see it is a gift. It gives me a certain degree of covering when the world is just too much. Like I said, selfishness is just natural. Nothing to be ashamed or guilty about. But some religious laws tell us we must be selfless. But why can’t preservation and compassion live hand in hand? In this world selfishness can be evil. If used without empathy or compassion towards others. Give some thought to the words I’m saying. Be strong, be fierce, but remember; “thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself” (Matthew 22:39 KJV). Think about it, I got clothes to take in.
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FD Thornton, Jr
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