Pretty Dull

Some finches are out chirping around the bird feeder. I can hear the school bus drive by as it heads to school. Looks like it’s going to be another Indian Summer day here in late October. I got a load of laundry going, while I sit here pecking at this keyboard. Life around here can get pretty dull; I wish I could say it was more exciting. But in all honesty, I don’t think my body could take it. 

I’m sorry, I don’t mean to bore you with my pitiful existence. But these are the plain unflowering truths that come out of my mouth. No beautiful imagery or clever lines, just me pushing through another day. I wish I had more positive things to say, but at the moment my digestive issues are going full throttle. After going through all the mental health issues, then the heart thing. You’d think life would be done fucking with me. But I am wrong. 

I’ve come to the conclusion that all these digestive issues are stress based. These last few months have been extremely stressful affecting me mentally and manifesting itself physically. It’s happened many times before over the last 20 years. The sleepless nights, the irritation, the anger, the fear. All leading to stress induced physical issues. 
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It seems no matter what I do mindfulness training, therapy, medication; I can’t seem to shake this damn thing. My medical doctors are at a loss, all they seem to be able to do is treat the symptoms. I’d go back to therapy, but the cost and the total lack of mental health funding makes that impossible. I really don’t mean to dump all this on you, but life is what it is…pretty dull.