For the last week or so, I have been working on the finishing touches of my latest book, “Part of Me”. Among the things I’ve been working on is editing the foreword written by a new friend artist Rod Jones. As an independent publisher, it’s up to me to do everything, including editing my own foreword. So can I say it’s a little embarrassing to sit down to read and edit words telling what a gifted and insightful person you are.
My background is well documented, I took pain that was buried deep and dug it up for all the world to read. I am an imperfect man. I have made and continue to make mistakes every day. It’s really hard for me to take compliments. While the layers of myself may say otherwise, the verbal abuse and self-abuse I have suffered take their toll.
Cleaning old scabs is a hard and painful process. It requires a delicate touch, which if done incorrectly can make things worse. I’ve been feeling a bit unworthy of the task I have taken on. The telling of my journey is far from complete. Often, I can find myself crawl into a very, very dark place. It’s that secret place where the darkest and most painful parts of me live. And like a wounded animal it often lashes out.
This isn’t a very positive way of promoting a product, but it is what it is. While I would love to see my work be successful, that has never been my ultimate goal. My goal was to find myself and let go of all the poison I’ve kept inside. I’ve seen and read about a lot of people that seem to have it all together. Only to discover they were no different than myself. Find yourself an outlet, be honest with yourself, forgive yourself, and forgive others. Being angry or sad all the time isn’t life. But being self-aware and balanced is.
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FD Thornton, Jr
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