I finally got a day off from my taxi service, yet here I am wide awake at 5 in the morning. Apparently, I can’t win for losing at this sleeping game. Anyway, I been feeling a little extra tense these last few days. Not so much any situation with myself. But more or less worried about other people and their situations. I mean, you can’t help but feel for the people in your life going through bad things. Being a totally unprofessional therapist, people do seem to take comfort in talking to me. But I often find it hard to shake off the emotions I feel them place upon me. I suppose I skipped that class in Psych 101.
I will admit I have been internalizing some of the shit going on around me. I know some of you may find that hard to believe, but I do. Lately this has been leading me down a path of poor choices in a number of areas. From impulsive buying to poor dietary choices. I suppose it’s just the same old “song and dance”. But it’s a familiar tune we all love to play. So for now I’ll just lay here, my mind racing and my stomach churning. Because at the moment this is my reality, my confession. But probably just as soon as I turn off the app, I’ll be at rest. Knowing I made my confession to a world that’s just as screwed up as me. Lord knows, I ain’t no superman or a guru high on a hill. I’m just me, listening, confessing my sins, and apparently not impressing anyone. But for the honest person, isn’t that all you ever want to be?
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May 2023
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