Smelling Myself

​I’m catching the scent of honey and coconut from the soap and shampoo I use. I’m also noticing a hint of lemon from the scented trash bag I just changed. If you detach yourself from your worries long enough it’s amazing the things you can pick out. This morning I was so worried about our finances for the end of the month. Worried about feeding the family, worried about putting fuel in the SUV. Fearing that once again I’d have to “borrow from Peter to pay Paul”.

But my wife and I gave it some serious thought, and we decided to see how far we can go on what we have. I mean it’s not like we’ll be homeless or without internet, we’ll not. So I picked my son up from work, ate leftovers for lunch, and took a shower. Now here I am, smelling myself in the breeze. We all have our weak spot where the Devil or whatever you call your negative energy likes to prod us. Reminding us of how inadequate or helpless we are. Believe me I wake up everyday being reminded of that “fact”.
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It wasn’t until I stopped “leaning on my own understanding” or limited perspective. And starting listening to a “higher power” so to speak. When I stop thinking I start listening. I can hear the fears that run through my mind. Hear all the deceptive voices that poison my soul. But then I hear the chatter of birds, feel the sun’s rays, smell the scents on the wind. And in it’s own inevitable way, I’m brought back to peace. I often feel I have a difficult explaining my journey. When talking to others I hear the “what ifs” and the “I don’t knows” they give me. All I can do is explain my experiences and explain what I do to find peace. The point is, “seek and you shall find, knock and doors will open”. If you will only try.