I figured since the temperature was already in the low 80’s in my room. I might as well go outside and still sweat while listening to the birds and smelling the ripening figs. I know I won’t have long out here before my body starts telling me to get back inside. But since I’m hot either way, I might as well come outside and enjoy the thing I miss most .…nature. I guess I could waste my time out here thinking about how shitty my life has turned out. Between being hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt, to not being able to work like I want too, to having the body of a man 20 years older than my age. But that’s the price I pay for every wrong decision I ever made.
For every moment I had to think about the well being of others over myself, I suppose I could be bitter and mad. I’d be a liar if I said those thoughts hadn’t crossed my mind ever now and again. But when I think about the walking trails I used to walk, looking up at those 100’ pine trees made me feel so small. They gave me perspective that I was not alone in this bitterness I felt. Reminding me that they’ll eventually be generations after me that will think the same thoughts and have the same responsibilities. It’s quite liberating in a way, knowing I’m not alone when I feel this way, what do you think?