Spinning Around

This is one of those rare occasions when I’m actually bored. Where I don’t feel like watching TV or reading a book or even writing. So I suppose I’ll just sit outside and enjoy the sunshine and watch the world spin around. But in a way that’s not so bad, I mean it entails that I sit on my ass, look around, and stay quiet. What’s the trouble in doing that?

I guess the trouble comes when you don’t know how to sit still and allow your mind to let go. I remember back when I was first trying to quiet my mind. I had just gone through a wonderful series of mental breakdowns. I was heavily medicated and just barely able to function at any capacity. Still there wasn’t any peace, just the numbing sensation of the medicine beating down my destructive thoughts. The mental health clinic was satisfied with me barely functioning, but I knew I needed more. So long story short, that’s when I discovered the teachings of Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh.
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He gave me permission to grieve, he showed me how to mindfully and compassionately listen to my soul. To learn and make amends with the broken parts of myself that needed compassion and not hatred. We are all hurting and we all need a little compassion sometimes. It’s just that often we find stupid ways to take care of it. Listen, I am far from the perfect Zen Master. Hell, I’m really not even Buddhist. But I do understand the importance of quieting my mind. And that through observing nature I learn about balance. Because too much of any one thing usually isn’t very good.