Squandered

Thinking back a little over five years ago, I was pushing 360 lbs. I had high blood pressure, was diabetic, had high cholesterol, sleep apnea, and I smoked. I was definitely pushing Kim Jong Um proportions, although I’m a few inches taller. Everything seemed fine I had my first heart attack. But you know the rest of the story, the surgery, having to wear a portable defibrillator, the stress testing, the hospital stays, and most unfortunately the damage that had been done.
​ 
Well now I’m cautiously optimistic when I say, my blood pressure is 102/68. My cholesterol is normal. My irregular heartbeat is manageable, and my A1C is between 5 and 6, and oh yeah, my current weight is now 230 lbs. God knows I would love to tell you I have come up with the ultimate diet plan. But sadly, I’d only be blowing more smoke up your ass like all the other quick fix gurus. The best thing I can tell you as a total non-professional, is to listen to your doctor. Feel the tears of your family and quit being so god-damned stubborn.
 
Life is a precious gift, no matter how mundane. There are many reasons why we become obese. Many of which I still have. Just know weight loss is a mental game more than a physical one. Listen I have spent five years getting where I am. I can’t do any weight training or running or any physically strenuous exercise; I have a note from my doctor. What I am is aware. Aware of my body’s limitations, aware of what I eat, and aware I should mediate regularly by practicing mindfulness. I walk when I can and do my best to avoid caffeine.
 
Yes, I’ve lost weight and that’s to be celebrated, but I remain cautious. That is due to some other underlying issues that are causing my excessive fatigue and some of my weight loss. But I remain aware. Taking on each challenge as it comes, for life is a gift to be appreciated, not squandered.