Some friends of mine in California had the main road in their area knocked out by the recent rains. They live up near the mountains, so I was joking about them now having to live off the grid. They replied, “That it is squirrel stew from here on out”. While we got a good laugh out the situation, it got me to thinking about survival. I don’t just mean living off the grid, something I have no idea how to do. What it did get me thinking about was the survival of my soul and the extenuating circumstances that cause me pain.
On the surface, I had an easy life growing up. But like most everyone else there were the dark corners of circumstance that affected me more than I’d like to admit. Despite how put together I may seem, there was always a feeling of panic, chaos, and despair. Leaving me with the feeling that not only was life unfair, but that I deserved every unkind thing that ever happened to me. So for the next fifty years I took to blaming myself. It wasn’t until recently that I have been able to confront these feelings and overcome that guilt.
Being a late Baby Boomer I was taught to swallow my pain. Many of my generation (including myself) scoff at Millennials and Xer’s for being too soft and too dependent on their feelings. Thinking about it, does that really make us any better than the bullies and abusers we faced? Abuse begets abuse, until the cycle is broken. So many successful people are miserable to the point of death. Among many of my peers they have simply given up on life due to their circumstance. I can’t subscribe to that belief anymore. If nothing else my family has taught me that survival is the only thing that creates legacy. So when reduced to eating squirrels, rabbits, or goats remember, you are surviving. So don’t give up, don’t give in, “don’t let the bastards grind you down”.
On the surface, I had an easy life growing up. But like most everyone else there were the dark corners of circumstance that affected me more than I’d like to admit. Despite how put together I may seem, there was always a feeling of panic, chaos, and despair. Leaving me with the feeling that not only was life unfair, but that I deserved every unkind thing that ever happened to me. So for the next fifty years I took to blaming myself. It wasn’t until recently that I have been able to confront these feelings and overcome that guilt.
Being a late Baby Boomer I was taught to swallow my pain. Many of my generation (including myself) scoff at Millennials and Xer’s for being too soft and too dependent on their feelings. Thinking about it, does that really make us any better than the bullies and abusers we faced? Abuse begets abuse, until the cycle is broken. So many successful people are miserable to the point of death. Among many of my peers they have simply given up on life due to their circumstance. I can’t subscribe to that belief anymore. If nothing else my family has taught me that survival is the only thing that creates legacy. So when reduced to eating squirrels, rabbits, or goats remember, you are surviving. So don’t give up, don’t give in, “don’t let the bastards grind you down”.
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