Strange Morning

Lord knows it’s been a strange morning. First off I woke up and the bedroom was hot as hell. So with my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth I got up and headed to the bathroom. But when I opened the bedroom door a whoosh of cool air hit me. It was coming from the window fan left on in the living room. Mind you we have an air conditioner in the bedroom. Yet the living room was considerably cooler with just a fan in the open window.

Life has an amazing way of amplifying my discomfort. Especially when I’m in a heighten state of anxiety. The reason for my anxiousness is neither here nor there. It’s just the fact that I am here that matters. I do my best to put up a good front especially around you guys. But my family, well let’s just say they catch the brunt of it. My anxiousness has led to fights, bad blood, and plenty of ill feelings, so today is no different.
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As I sit here alone, I gather my thoughts and remember; there ain’t a damn thing I can do about some situations. But there are some in which I can. So it’s for those situations I have to put on my big boy panties and ask forgiveness. I never said it was pretty, but it keeps to peace. And as for my anxiety, well that’s a problem I have to deal with internally. With a lot of compassionate listening and a shit ton of self-forgiveness.