A wave of fear courses through the veins. Like thick black ink pushing you under. Dreams don’t come easy when you are alone. The call of love becomes nothing more than a distant memory. Blood drains from your arms. As the discomfort of fear overwhelms your chest. This is what it feels like, to succumb to the dread. To know without a shadow of a doubt, that this time it’s taking you under.
I don’t have Panic Attacks very often anymore. But when I do my body feels it’s overwhelming dark pull. My chest beats uncomfortable, my breathe shallows, and my thoughts turn in every which direction. But eventually, I suppose from shear instinct. My breathe slows and deepens till the dark waters gradually push away.
The question always comes up, rather I jot down these experiences for myself or someone else. I suppose the simple answer is both. For every moment I feel a bit “laissez-faire” about a given situation. There always lurks that ever present fear, that black strain that first invaded my mind some 22 years ago. And while I do a pretty good job of keeping it at bay. At some point it always finds it way back in. Just know, that in those vulnerable moments, it doesn’t mean you are weak. It simple means you are human.
All post written by
FD Thornton, Jr
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