Outside it’s another cloudless day. The wind is quite cool for a May morning, but as long as it keeps the gnats away, I’m not going to complain. There are times when I miss the connection of true human company. One would think with a family and a following I’d be anything but lonely. But the riggers of caregiving and being in charge dull the senses to informal chatter and true companionship.
So you take on a personal life laded out more like a business, with schedules to keep and obligations to be met. Being a bit of a dreamer my creative side often gets lost in the duties of the day. Further causing me to shield myself in this impenetrable suit of armor. Many of you that enjoy reading my words may actually find me difficult to get to know in real time.
So I drift in and out of moods of loud banter and quiet retreat. But at the moment I seek companionship. Not so much the kind with intimate I love you’s and passionate awaking. Just some moments of quiet communication where some selfless understanding and respect are displayed. Often these are the elements of a relationship that we forget. Partner’s are supposed to grow with you, but seldom do they ever.
So I sit here languishing under the blustery shade of a sycamore tree. Crying (well maybe not crying), for a hint of inspiration. I sometimes wonder if I dream too much about the things I want. And that maybe due to my station in life, there will never be anything more than unachievable satisfaction. But until then, I guess I’ll continue to hope and continue tell my story.