Me and the boys just finished putting up a clothes line for their sister. My roll was mostly supervisory, but we got the job done. Right now I’m sitting outside under the blooming leaves of the fig bush and an old sycamore tree. The rain last night knocked a good chuck of the pollen down. Giving me a chance to come outside and hear the springtime birds and catch a whiff of some sweet honeysuckles nearby. I just spoke or texted some of my out of town family. Just to catch up and tell them how much I missed them as the Easter holiday draws near.
Fights and hard feelings often melt away with distance and time. I know that some 30 years ago I made the right decision to leave the only home I knew. And on a whim, move to a place I never heard of on a dare. Decades of struggle peeled away the bullshit that entangled me. Leaving me weakened, but freer than I have ever been. I look at so many things from my past and it saddens me, to just see it still standing there. Made brittle by the effects of time and the inability to change. But why must things change? Could it simply be the finality of it all? The world evolves. A tree grows, a tree dies and a tiny seed takes it’s place. As my skin is warmed and cooled by the sun and wind. Balance between the kind and the hardened dominate me. No longer can I afford the bitterness I once carried. Nor can I bare to carry the weight of another’s sins. We all need peace and sense of being. So breathe deeply and listen to what the sight, sound, smells are telling you.
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March 2023
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