The Best I Got

There’s something still a little surprising about being able to sit with my legs crossed. It first happened a few months ago without me realizing I was doing it. You see I haven’t been able to sit crossed legged since I was a kid. Yet here I am at this moment with my legs crossed at 57 years old. Something I couldn’t have done at 50, let alone 40. The other thing that kinda weirds me out is all this daggling skin under my arms, on my thighs, and under my chin. I sometimes play with it to entertain myself, but it is a little creepy to watch it wrinkle up. 

Our lives take some funky turns sometimes. While my digestive issues have worried my doctor, the good side effects have been weight loss, improved blood sugar, and an increase in energy. (Of course that might be due to me running to the bathroom. Cardio!) Seriously through, the effects of losing this much weight can be a bit jarring. Especially when looking at old photographs of myself. But despite all the changes you can make physically, nothing really changes till you make the afford to change emotionally. 
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For a really long time I never made the connection to improve my life both physically and emotionally, it was either one or the other. But slowly over the last few years I finally made the connection, that living in harmony with myself and my surroundings actually creates change. For so long I hated myself so much, that I was allowing myself to die “from a thousand tiny cuts”. It wasn’t until I faced my own demons that I learn to look at myself and love myself as I should. Once I realized I was worth the effort, change began to take place. Now as far as my current health issues, I do the best I can. I live one moment at a time, always grateful for the moments I have. It may not be the perfect plan, but for now it’s the best I got.