The Inevitable

Sandra Saxon Burnsed

One of my favorite side effects in taking medication for chronic heart failure is peeing. One medication in particular keeps me going to the bathroom. It helps drain excess fluids and salt from my body since my heart doesn’t pump as well as it should. Another funky side effect is constantly having to rehydrate, even if I’m indoors. It sounds a bit like an oxymoron, but it is what it is. 
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I don’t know what got me thinking about this, other than needing to go to the bathroom. I mean I should be used to this by now. But I do what I’m told and take my medication, besides the alternative is pushing up daisies. I shock a lot of people with the attitude I have towards life and death. It’s not like I have a death wish, in fact quite the opposite. I enjoy life. Still my fascination with mortality kinda freaks people out. But I like to think of it as my way of being at peace with the inevitable.
 
Through the depths of depression I experienced, I always maintained a certain degree fight. Rather it came from my children or from something buried deep within myself. I knew I couldn’t give up. Once I pulled myself from out of that abyss. It was my drive and paranoia drove me to where I am today. But I can’t blame anyone but myself really. So I take life one day at a time. Facing the challenges I face and doing the best I can with what I got. And isn’t that what it’s all about? Doing what we can. I suppose I could be bitter, at least at myself. But what’s the point? Life is meant to be lived, so why waste it.