They Are Me

Sandra Saxon Burnsed

I’ve been dealing with panic attacks, anxiety, and depression for over 20 years. I was diagnosed with Panic Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and Chronic Depression back in 1999. That’s funny because people who know me, never saw a thing out of place. But my mental health issues are here and they sure as hell ain’t going away. Since coming out with having “mental health issues”, I’ve had so many people tell me I should go and have this thing “prayed” out of me. Or still other people saying, “if I’d only embrace positive thought and meditation, it would all disappear.” 

Well here we are, after much prayer and positive thinking, I’m still sitting here stressing out and having my ever-present panic attacks. My medical doctors are often at a loss as to why I manifest certain physical health conditions. Sadly, they fail to look at the underlying mental health conditions that manifest themselves through physical problems. Listen I am no physical or mental health doctor, but I am a researcher and systems analyst. I know how to look at a problem wholly and with an eye for detail.
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My point here is, there is no “magic pill” for a lot of situations. My panic and anxiety know me, because they are me. They are not some alien life form that took control of me. Simply put they formed from the seed that live inside of me. So every day I do my best to not water those seeds. But life has a way of raining down on them and causing them to bloom. The best I or any of us can do is accept that and continue to work and find our balance.