Time Passes

Between the bathroom and the bed, I don’t know rather I’m coming or going. While in between I’m pounding “Depeche Mode: Live in Berlin” into my ears. As you can tell it’s just a normal night here with the TV on mute and my earbuds firmly in place. Lisa’s running a little late getting to bed because she’s watching “Dancing with the Stars” on the big screen. And, I’m here taking a moment to jot down a few thoughts about where I am at the moment.

You’d think with my upcoming heart procedure I’d be a little anxious. Don’t ask me why, but some things (like medical stuff) often don’t bother me. Now driving down to Savannah, that bothers me. Sleeping in a strange bed for a few nights, that bothers me. But having a doctor run a tube up my artery and kill nerves in my heart… I’m okay with that. It’s funny how the mind works sometimes. It’s also funny how time passes and changes us without us even realizing it.
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I was recently looking at some old photographs of myself and I was shocked at changes between now and then. To be honest, both images showed the consequences of an unhealthy lifestyle. Displaying how self-hatred and abuse can take there toll. But over the past decade I’ve done a lot of self-reflection. Through that deep drive into my psyche I’ve learned acceptance and forgiveness are key to my survival. So in this hour let us remember, awareness, faith, and a little selfishness go a long way in creating the balance we need to make it another day.