Woke up with a bit of a shout this morning. For whatever reasons my panic meter was turned up this morning. I got up a little short of breath and my was heart pounding. But being the professional at this sorta thing I talked myself down and I’m feeling a little better. It’s almost humorous at times after 20+ years, how this stuff still affects me. But I grin and bear it taking it all in stride.
You’d think by now I’d run out of ailments to talk about. I like to think these things don’t define me, but for some long they have done exactly that. They limit my movement, limit my physical and mental activity, and in many ways limit my potential. But as we always say, we are not defined by our limitations. A nice sentiment, but not exactly true. Potential is measured by our ability to take what we have and mold it to our will. As I learned last weekend, I’ll never work construction again. Or will I be able to multitask vast amounts information across to different subordinates. My life is more sentient through my calmness, enabling me to pick up on things. Now maybe I’ve always been able to do that, but through the stillness of my life it’s more amplified. We each have our gifts and limitations. The thing is either one has to specifically define you. You are a free person, even when bond in chains. It all depends on how your mind wants to define you. Now I could easily wallow in self-pity as many do, but I honestly don’t see myself that way. Life is balance, it’s good times and bad. Acceptance not rejection creates true change.
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May 2023
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