At the moment I’m feeling pretty rough. My head is aching, and my eyes are on fire. The pecan trees are blooming, and the grass pollen has my head spinning. Still this morning I received three touching notes from three dear friends who had good news to share. As humans it is in our nature to share our stories, both good and bad. But I was so proud of the news I got from these three women; I didn’t want to spoil them with my own sad situation.
Sometimes life doesn’t give us the best of everything. It seems to indiscriminately give out loaves and crumbs in unequal portions. Some respectful except this as the fate they’ve been handed. While others fight and kill for every scrap they can get. Me well I suppose I’m in the middle, excepting what I have and fighting to do more. Laying here I must look a pathetic sight, with my feet propped up on pillows, under a blanket, the lights out, and an ice pack across my head. I look out the window at a delightfully sunny day. The wind gently blowing the sunflowers and the trees. Yet here I am, not so much drowning in self pity, but instead accepting things as they are at the moment. I do use this time as best I can, for one writing this story and I’m planning our meals for the next few days. Eventually I’m going to have to get up, considering I am the caregiver of the house. But for the moment I accept things as they are, preparing myself for the moment I have to fight and do what I have to do.
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December 2022
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