Let’s talk about how shitty I feel. (And I mean that in the most literal sense of the word.) I’m weak, living on water, Jello, broth, and an occasional pack of instant grits. But the bloating in my belly still persists to the point of creating new stretch marks. Then for the third time in so many weeks I fell to the ground hard. Maybe I shouldn’t be documenting my personal troubles like this. But the whole point of writing it down is to let others who suffer know, they are not alone.
This has been a very trying time, and some may even say, I’ve had it worst. But with each situation I always fought and bounced back. We’re always told that each of these troubles can be a learning experience. Well frankly, I’m about ready to graduate. This shit (again, quite literally) is getting old. And I know there are many that feel the same way about their given situation. At the moment this is not a learning experience, it’s me just trying to survive. Complete with reward challenges and a tribal council, just waiting to judge my every move.
If this sounds a bit bitter, well it should. Because I am tired and ready for this shit (again…) to end. For over three years I’ve been dealing with this in one form or another. Doctor appointment after doctor appointment, all guessing at the cause. If there’s any bright light in all of this, it would be that I have lost over 120 lbs. But even that came at a tremendous cost of lost muscle mass in my arms and legs, hence the falling down. Sacrifice and due diligence are noble pursuits. But in a moment of pain, the last thing you’re thinking about is any kind of trophy. You’re just wanting things to be normal again.
All post written by
FD Thornton, Jr
All Rights Reserved.