At the moment I’m wearing a heart monitor to continuously measure my heart rate. Then after a couple of weeks of that, I go the a cardiologist that specializes in handling AFib cases. It the moment it looks like I’ll be having a cardiac ablation procedure done to help with my heart. But all this is a little ways down the road. At the moment I’m trying to absorb all this new information. I’m feeling much more optimistic then I have for the last few weeks. But still the anxiety creeps in and everything around me is starting to sound like noise.
The whole thing in a way is frustrating. The funky way my heart will beat, the continuing fatigue, and my biggest fear the shortness of breath. You try to tell yourself to be patient that we’ve played this game with fear and anxiety way too many times. It seems the more I fight mentally, the more my body defies me. I just sigh and say, “it is what it is”. But that’s what’s happening right now. Hopefully over the next few days I’ll gain a little more perspective and my raw emotions will settle. So for now I’ll kick it into autopilot and go with the flow.