I try and tell myself there’s no point in worrying about shit. Especially when there’s nothing you can do about it at the moment. Maybe that sounds defeatist, but in my world I often find solace in the inevitable. We often pump ourselves up with so much hope, that the eventual letdown only creates more pain. As stoic as that may sound, I do go through untold hours of deep anxiety. I try to remind myself that all that anxiety only causes me more physical damage.
But despite my awareness and understanding of myself, the pain and the fear often robs me of my peace. Maybe I should be more “hopeful” and “optimistic”. But if anything, my life has taught me to just face reality. That in life things often don’t go the way you planned. No matter how much discipline or faith I may pour into a situation, often there’s no shining white horse coming to rescue me. As depressing as that sounds, it often gives me the strength to take one more step.
At the moment there’s not much more that I can say. My hope through all this confession is to offer you a realistic perspective. That wishes, hopes, and dreams don’t often save the day. That often it takes fear and perspiration to bring us a better outcome. What I’m trying to say is, acceptance drives action. I can wish upon a star all I want, but to create real change I must see things as they are and work from there.